I am not entirely sure whether to laugh, cry or just lie down on the floor and throw a tantrum like a five year old. Every time I get close to finishing something in this town and seeing some closure that will allow me to leave they manage to screw it up whilst simultaneously pinning the blame on me or some other person who is unable to explain their actions.
With an increasing number of excuses and finger pointing being on the go I am getting seriously tired of the its the foreigners fault” routine followed by: “how much money have you got?”
My finances are wrecked due to this constant desire to empty my wallet and keep me on a back foot after as a member of the UK I am rich. Really??
A trip I thought would be a professional dream has turned to a personal nightmare as I get caught in a spiral of excuses, lies and misdirection, more than once I have asked of the media sector here “does anyone actually earn money or is it just talk.”
The reliance on foreigners or for that matter anyone who looks wealthy enough to support their delusions of grandeur is tiresome and expensive. With salons that have no stock telling me to bring clients and spend the money on materials as they are having financial troubles, but will still take 50% OF THE MONEY I EARN.
I find it increasingly difficult to see how anyone can justify film making let alone their own existence when they rely on goodwill and lies.
Never have I gotten so tired of the attitude I face, blame is squarely sat on my doorstep without any explanation that does not revolve around its your fault end of story. The level of childish finger pointing is somewhat disconcerting when dealing with people who hold managerial, assistant producer or other credentials and claim BA etc to their name, this is your idea of adult behavior?
Were I alone in this sentiment I would step back and say I am at fault but I have had this same discussion with numerous others who are outiders to the country and its strange to think that a place that relies heavily on income is lax in its attempt to create it due to what can only assume is ineptitude or laziness.
I am sitting in a cybercafe, with my misty water colored memories of the days when people finished what they started and professional was a word used to describe:
time served, hard working and skilled individuals and companies.
not just a buzz word tagged onto anyone with a qualification or a web cam who could apply their own make up.
Sigh. Such happy memories.
Why you ask am I feeling like this today well I shall tell you.
Having worked on a shoot this week after long speculation and time wasting concerning endless contracts, meetings and talk I am feeling nostalgic for the days when following through mattered.
With potential employers and people looking to work as a team but fail to provide the logistics and requirements to pull the job together:
"you provide materials, book clients and we will take 50% of the money."
What do I gain realistically? Nothing, it costs me money to put my kit in place. The expectation of free training for staff, clients when you don’t have the resources to complete the work, well I do but what happens when they want a complete look,make up and hair? I can step up for make up, can you for hair? Answer: NO.
Arrange a meeting to discuss working with me for your film, then cancel at the last minute, hmmm am I impressed no. However this is what happens.
The battle cries of: “its not my fault,” “Oh but your just a make up artist so its not like its a real job.” The list goes on.
Are you sensing my annoyance and frustration here?
With the management team giving me the leeway to do some creative work between meetings for film I am really glad to be back on track and moving all be it slowly.
Creatively we are working on some new projects, collaborations with Zubin Soni are in progress and I will be doing some shooting of my own, I feel the urge to be both make up and photographer once again and will do a body paint, some small fx work (blood my darlings creative with blood, fake of course).
Starting over is hard but it allows me to be myself and get creative again.
Its been a very stressful and hard few months and as you are all aware management takes over soon and we are in talks over the redevelopment.
As exciting as it is part of me is sad and a little relieved I feel like I have put so much time, energy and money into my kit, other peoples productions and supporting the indie crowd in my native Scotland then here in Mumbai that its a major loss that I am now in this place.
My family feel I should be proud of this and in a way I am, however it does feel a little sad that its an end of an era for me and the start of a total reshuffle and rethink of my work in media,
JamesC (the brand) will go ahead alongside some other items that will all be revealed in due course.
I may be out for now but happily (and sadly to) I will be back again with a whole new outlook and better support.
What started as a professional dream has slowly turned into a personal nightmare as I find myself increasingly in a holding pattern and going in circles here in Mumbai. Stymied by constant excuses and a financial disaster of management I am no longer as happy with the world as I should be.
With this in mind JamesC and its affiliate service JamesC artists will be closing till December when new management will take over updates will be ongoing via the facebook pages: With the ongoing support of family, James will heading the new company as the lead make up artist however will not be a major part in the decision making process, acting as primarily a consultant to the new management team. Not to be down hearted however we will be making sure to keep you all up to date and look forward to the future.
No matter what I always try to come back to my blogs, Time flies for me at the moment and I just can’t seem to forget my blogs.
Always looking at my work I am really worn down and tired recently, India and the time I have been here has taken a massive personal and professional toll. However it has not stopped me working on my brand which will be relaunched as a whole new concept very soon with the JamesC banner taking forefront on all this,
I am personally grateful to my family for supporting me and the people around me at this time as I rethink my priorities and plans.
Sometimes its all you can do.
As Dido said in her song: “there will be no white flag above my door.”
I will be back working soon and showcasing new concepts both in video and images so stay tuned.
So what I’m still a rock starSo what pink